No maafi for this one

No maafi for this one

Review of 7 Khoon Maaf by Yashodeep Sengupta

Generally Vishal Bharadwaj’s brand of movies always garners a lot of expectations. 7 Khoon Maaf, too, was not spared of the hype. Promotions, Priyanka Chopra and Darrrllling – all elements were ensured to be driven home to the audience before the release. So did it live up to the humongous expectations? Umm, not quite. A riveting performance by Priyanka Chopra is marred by unconvincing tracks, a fresh aspect to the story is dented by poor direction, fine acting by some is butchered by shoddy editing, and a pacy first impression is damaged by the immense length of the movie. It’s also sad to notice flaws in Vishal’s work, especially after giving us powerful films like Maqbool and Omkara and endearing ones as Ishqiya and The Blue Umbrella. A friend of mine joked Vishal should have taken a tripping in order to match up to his earlier calibre. He, basically, fails with 7 Khoon Maaf.

Primarily set in Goa, 7 Khoon Maaf is a tale of Susanna’s journey and her search for eternal love, which eludes her every time. And the solution? Not a divorce, neither an extra marital affair, nor an elopement. Susanna has only one answer for cheaters, wife-beaters, MCP husbands – Khoon or Murder. So husbands, one after another, get sacrificed at the altar of her riddance and a hope to find someone better the next time. While Major Rodrigues (Neil Nitin Mukesh) is made to be devoured by a man-eating panther, Mushroom da (Naseeruddin Shah) is made victim of a gun-duelling ‘game’. The suave Nicholas Vronsky (new actor) is made to be bit by poisonous snakes, Wasillulah Khan (Irrfan Khan) is buried alive in snow. The grotesque nature of the murders also extend to other scenes in the movie, like the one where Rodrigues mock-caresses Susanna’s face with his half-amputated leg, or when wounds of a dead body for medical examination are shown in too minute details. But sadly, the theme is discontinuous and thus, does not register much.

What registers are fresh concepts and motifs, used craftily in the film. So, be it the whip-fight between Major Rodrigues and a 4 feet midget, a kinky John Abraham in nightgown and drug overdose, Wasillulah Khan romping on Susanna (or Sultana) at nights, a Russian double-agent, Keemat Lal’s (Annu Kapoor) sex-scene with Susanna (or Madame) thanks to Viagra, or the death knell scenes, 7 Khoon Maaf would be watched in posterity more for these elements rather than anything else.

Priyanka Chopra as the cerebral, attractive and desperate Susanna is just about okay. Her roles in Kaminey, Fashion and Aitraaz were better. Having said that, Priyanka is not too loud and despite her botoxed lips and caked face and (later) no make-up look, manages to look good, even as the 60-year old. Noteworthy performances are done by Irrfan Khan, Naseeruddin Shah and Vivaan Shah (Naseer’s son and the narrator of the movie). But it’s Annu Kapoor, who steals the show with his excellent portrayal of the cop in love. Neil Nitin Mukesh, too – despite his obnoxious pronunciations- impresses with his twitch of an eye and smirk on his face. The ‘Aadamkhor Major’ certainly looks his part. John Abraham is beefy and just about okay. The roles of Maggie (Usha Uthup), Khan and Goonga (the midget) are important.

Music is average. Tracks such as ‘Darling’ and ‘Bekaraar’ stand out. I have talked about direction and editing earlier, which are poor. Cinematography is good and the locales of Kashmir and Goa come alive with it. Background score could have been better but lighting has been brilliantly used in the film (a big relief from the dark frames used in Kaminey)

But what causes maximum damage is the inane ending. That bit spoils whatever redeeming features the movie was peppered with. And needless to say, the sheer length of the movie (close to 3 hours). Horrid memories of LOC Kargil came flashing before my eyes.

I would not recommend people to watch the movie in theatres, but maybe at home on a DVD. It’s a one-time watch, slightly disturbing, slightly eerie, but mostly disengaging, awfully long and with (reiterating) an apology of an ending. Thumbs down for that. What was attempted to be conveyed as surreal, turns out to be funny and stupid.

Rating: **/5

Apologies, please

Apologies are maybe the best way to wash your hands off an affair- a sticky situation- if you are not so foolish as to bring in ego in between.

So it seems to be nowadays with every announcement in alternate metro stations asking for forgiveness in silken voice for yet another technical snag. And thus the Haryanvis and the Delhiites and the UP-ites recall your sister, say them a thing or two, but are placated. We don't complain, crib in front of the ones managing the train and even if we do, we won't get back the lost time.

On the other hand, a railway accident or an air disaster or a bomb explosion is immediately followed by apolo

gies in excess by the Mamata Banerjees and the Praful Patels and the Chidambarams. I am sorry that you lost your husband or your child in the blast. The family of the ones killed will be awarded Rs 1,00,000; the family of the ones seriously injured Rs 50,000 and the families of the ones with cuts and bruises, but in mental agony (sic) Rs 25,000. And that's the end of the chapter? No, of course not! We even have a Bravery award for the 'martyr', who laid down his life, trying to save a fellow passenger, and a promise that this kind of an event won't be repeated again (not in the next one month, at least) And we are left bereaving for our loved ones for the rest of our lives with the Rs 70,000 (The 1 lakh does not reach the family, I am sure, as it gets channelized in the way) tucked away in a corner. Because the candle-light vigils and the dharnas won't guarantee a stop to the disasters.

Gone are those days when you used to pour your heart out in an apology. A sorry, nowadays, is barfed only to save yourself of an affair, gone awry. An apology, sadly, does not mean that I will look into the matter and bring out a solution and try my best so that it does not happen further. The dwindling relevance of a heartfelt apology in today's social and moral construct is omnipresent.

And if you think I am sermonizing or being very cynical, well...what can I say...I apologize!

Bengalimbo?

For all the predictions and prophecy of the debacle of the Left rule in the state you may know, Bengal could be staring at a bleak future. Primarily because the proponent party which is apparently blowing the bugle of "revolution" and "change" might be equally disastrous or even worse, possibly the latter of the two.

The Trinamool opposition in West Bengal might be unparalleled in recent years and the rabble-happy chief might have found admirers in the Bangla heartland, with her fiery slogans and nev

er-say-die attitude and open resistance to the CPI(M) rule besides her apparent simplicity of living and straightforward approach to questions, but the TMC clout in the state would never have been possible if not for the blunders creat

ed by the overconfident, rash, hasty, unaccommodative, backward, cynical and torturous approach of the now-ruling-CPI(M) in the state.

Experts say Ex-CM Jyoti Basu made fewer mistakes than the current minister Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee who is a tad more overactive than the bound parameters which a Leftist dwells in and is expected to be constrained in by the chief party agenda and whip. If it was not the forcible acquisition of land of the farmers in Singur and Nandigram, if it was not for the indiscriminate firing on the local protesters by the Police which led to deaths, if it was not for crossing of "Laxman Rekha" of the party principle of anti-capitalism by attracting investments in the state in lieu of poor compensation- the resistance put up by TMC would not have found a popular backing. Bhattacharjee, maybe, had his own obligations of ushering in development in the state but the way it was done didn't let his intentions gain much sympathy and thus, startingly, a bunch of Leftists in West Bengal left the fabric to join hands with Mamata's party, fresh and resistant in its approach.

Apart from these factors, of course, the notorious history of the tyrannical rule of the Left in Bengal petted a caustic response in the hearts of the sufferers in the state and it gushed out when they found an outlet of anti-incumbency in the TMC .

Having said that, the TMC, when it comes to power after the 2011 Assembly elections in Bengal, where people believe the Left would be routed, it would be facing an uphill task to deliver the promises made to the people in the state. Firstly, the party has very few prominent faces (barring the intelligensia which would never plunge head over heels in politics and even if they do, they have little chances of survival) apart from, of course, our lady herself. A Partho Chatterjee and a Mukul Roy is nowhere in comparison with Mamata, at least yet. It needs backup leaders to begin with. Secondly, TMC's alliance with Congress is crucial to sustain the victory in the state. If the Congress, somehow, pulls the plug out of the ruling government if Mamata disagrees to a coalition in the state or flouts the coalition agenda, then the TMC will find it tough to battle it on its own. Mamata's next term as the Union Railway minister is very dicey. A friction with the Congress in the National level would, no doubt, make the job of Mamata harder to sustain in the National arena too. A position which would contribute to a loss of image of the leader and the loss of stance of the party, which now, still in its nascent stage, would need the crutch of backing by the ruling power to emerge wholly and successfully. Thirdly, Mamata will have a tough time appeasing the Maoists, for whose cause she is fighting so ardently now. If the affection towards them are not continued, it won't take a second for the guerrillas to train their guns at teh leader. Fourthly, the Left won't be an easy task to trounce if they oppose vehemently in support with their muscle power and longer years of "understanding", once the TMC comes to power . For example, CPI(M) would take recourse to the same set of arguments and resistance if tomorrow, Mamata attracts a Salim in the state, as the TMC did when CPI(M) were the caller. A looming threat is the activism of the student unions and workers of both the party.

What is baffling is- if the TMC messes its rule in the state, will the people again vote the CPI(M) back to power? So, is it a vicious circle of fruitless dependence and less choice that we are in today, or will be facing in the future? Is it the double existence of dwelling in a limbo and breaking into violence and calling strikes, that we, the people of Bengal, are staring at?

Ayodhya and all that

Last week a prominent face of a TV news channel told me how Ayodhya was a revelation for him. His visit to the holy and currently-contentious shrine city unfolded a world of harmonious co-existence between Hindus and Muslims there. He said that it was delightful to witness instances when Hindus would attend Iftaar parties with full gusto and the Muslims would leave no stone unturned to prepare for a grand Diwali for his Hindu neighbor. Yes, it does seem unreal, if you go by the jingoism and war-mongering between the two communities, aggravated maybe by the constant ranting in our media.

But as it’s Ayodhya, we have to delve deeper. And voila, I would not censure you if you side by the same media after this. The fact is, as far as the very sensitive issues of Ram Janmabhoomi and the Babri Masjid demolition is concerned, the people of both the communities cannot keep their emotions bottled up. Both want their side to win the impending title suit and emerge victorious morally and communally. It’s emotion for them, it’s passion unbound. It’s anger and frustration seething in them for the last 50 years or so. They dismiss senior lawyer Ram Jethmalani’s version that there should be a secular hospital or educational institution on the spot which held the Babri Masjid once, as crap. Yes, it’s Utopian. How can you ever think of satisfying the age old thirst (for ‘justice’) of the Hindus and Muslims with a mere social charity? You can’t. Ayodhya is far beyond such compensation. A bereaved mother is offered monetary compensation in India and is expected to not come complaining to the government about her son’s death in an encounter. But I doubt whether you can do the same with a Ayodhya fanatic.

Yes, it’s a good thing that the level of fanaticism and jingoism has depreciated down the years. So, today’s youth have left the issue behind and want a closure of the case. A reflection of today’s youth. The Youth Congress president, who is currently on a virtual Bharat Yatra, says he does not think the Ayodhya issue as a burning or raging or even a topical one. they know there are a number of issues left to be addressed in today’s India. Be it the debate over the food security bill or the Kashmir crisis or the danger we face internally from the Naxals or our Bilateral ties with Pakistan. They have moved on. It would not be wrong in saying that even the ones who have witnessed the demolition of the babri masjid, want the case to be closed. Some say they just want the verdict to be out, whatever it may be. It’s been a long nightmare which they want to end.

But sadly, our Judicial system is not independent, contrary to its textbook definition. The same person I was talking to also confided that he had talked to many Supreme and High court Judges and they have said that almost 98% of the Indian legal personalities are corrupt and not independent. The recent deferment of the Ayodhya verdict is politically motivated, I infer. With the mess Delhi is in currently, with the CWG fiasco (worsened by the flood situation), the Centre sure does not want the situation to worsen further. And thus, the deferment. A post-verdict clash or communal tensions can ruin the entire preparation to the Games (if we can call them preparations, that is) and can also lead to further mistrust of the UPA by the people. Who can say that the independent petitioner of the deferment of the verdict Tripathi is not a congress man? The verdict on the 28^th might be postponed too. On September 30^th, one of the judges of the bench which will give the verdict, will retire. Thus the men in power will be looking forward to postpone the verdict even beyond the 28^th, to bring in the results after the completion of the CWG.

Politics has breached the independent and democratic fabric of our country. And it’s sad that such a verdict that holds so much importance to people affected gravely by the incident, is on hold. But sadly, in India, this is how the legal system works. My friend agreed with me and I am sure you would too.

Charulata- Focusing on the husband

Charulata might be one of the classiest and widely emphatized characters in Bengali literature, but spare some thought her husband (I forget his screen name). A passionate newsman whose life is entirely dedicated to his newspaper, but he is equally aware of the neglect his wife faces from him. He knows that and in the movie, we do see glimpses of him trying to compensate in the best way he can (while he still ran his business) which includes asking his brother to nurture her talent for literature. But after he gets cheated and his business comes to a halt, he realizes that now its destiny that he has to provide more time to his wife. And he does that and takes her to a holiday along the beaches. It turns out to be a boon for him as Charu lends him an idea of setting up the business again. Our man is over the moon and his love knows no bound. All this while, he is entirely unsuspecting of Charu developing a natural affinity towards his brother, played exquisitely by Soumitra, which is 'conventionally' wrong, maybe, but a natural course of action for the hapless and bored housewife. And that is exactly why the husband is crestfallen to discover the truth at the end of the movie. But he has nowhere to go. The tough and principled man on the exterior has a heart which pines for love and has a great amount of care and dependence on Charu. Moreover, his business associates have left him. He must be harbouring a hidden mistrust towards his brother. And he loves Charu too much. And thus, inspite of the tremendous pain, the tears, the agony and the shock he accepts Charu's hand at the end frame of the movie- a step which showcases his vulnerability, his dependence on Charu, his love and his helplessness. It' a classic character sketch.

Note: My observations are based on the movie 'Charulata', not the novel ' Noshthoneer'

Aisha Avoidable

It would not strike at the very beginning but Sonam kapoor fit the bill for the title role of 'Aisha' perfectly. The rich and immatured 'brat' who thinks random matchmaking is something more than a timepass. We do find such people around us who are very honest and serious about a thought which is socially unconventional and may lead them to trouble. In that way Jane Austen's character sketch stood out and at the same time was very common. Not only that it preserved the character till posterity.

Even the current and artificial Delhi life houses such characters, I am sure.

Yes, it's a 'girly' movie, I agree. With all the hankering after branded clothes (most of the girls would be drooling over the attire range, I am sure), and the pedicures and fashionable Hauz Khas village, fancy rafting, a hot bod dude (an abnormally-meaty Dhruv), cool poster beds, pyjama parties, perfect daddies, money you dont get tired of spending and a cool and rich guy proposing to you for marriage by climbing to your balcony using a ladder. It has all the ingredients to pull in females in scores at theatres.

Err...did i say 'scores'? i did. Because, The cinema is largely boring, not only as an experience, but also in terms of plot and pace. there are moments in the first half, which makes you think why the hell did you spend 250 bucks and watch this film? You could have gone for a 'Peepli Live' instead.Sequences like trying to groom the desi girl to a chic urban delite is all style, no substance. The water rafting and the beach sequence is highly non-arresting and a put-down. The Hollywood feel of the movie is marred by poor dialogue, a shoddy screenplay and a loose script and of course...no plot at all. Ir meanders aimlessly till 2 and a half hours and leaves you dry and wanting for something better to make it a fruitful day. Except for Aisha, character development is not present in other actors. Most of them are flat and show no change. Even the artificial and superficial lifestyle of Delhi could have been brought out in a more effective way.

Having said that, credit should be given to certain aspects which make you sit at the theatre and not leave the movie half-seen. Performances. Sonam Kapoor is good. She is slowly proving her mark as a promised actor. And it would not be exaggerating to say that it's her finest performance till date. cyrus Sahukar, Ira Dubey and the actor who played the desi girl are first-rate. Abhay deol's role is half-baked, could have been explored a bit more. Scenes like the wedding faux-pas and the one where Aisha and her father steal a quick chat late at night are studs in the movie. Music. Amit Trivedi's compositions are good. 'Gal mitthi mitthi' and the title track stand out. Sadly, these are the only saving graces of the otherwise poor and a worthless fare.

You should watch the movie for the performances, high class delhi life and of course, the fashion brands which are displayed themselves in the movie, every two minutes or so.

If that's not tempting enough, catch a vintage sweet 'Socha na tha' anyday.

Rating: **

To coffee or not

The office canteen coffee was initially quite an attraction as I had only heard of automatic (and free) vending machines spewing chocolaty liquid which is to be had either as a refuel agent, or as a weak and harmful substitute for food, or a gossip booster, or just to kill time. But soon, I began to lose interest in the mechanical procedure which extended to the flavor, somewhat, too. The acidic taste in my tongue was ruining the taste buds of a Bengali and I soon walked away, without any bitterness in my mind, although a fair amount somewhere else.

But nowadays, I feel drawn towards the familiar quarters of the newsroom pantry again. I am not sure for what reason. Maybe, I began missing the bitterness I was used to. Maybe I was missing a butt of ridicule. Maybe I have become busier and thus enjoy lesser breaks and thus an alternative. Or simply, maybe because I am becoming an addict.

I shall think…over a cup of coffee, maybe.