I always dreaded mathematics. I still do. So much, that I still have nightmares that I am sitting clueless over a paper of calculus, staring into the blank ceiling, while others scribble away to glory. Yes, numbers and I never went hand in hand. When I think of the possible reason, i conclude that it was more to do with a fear rather than inability. Guidance also matters and on that regards, my base was quite weak.
So, as far as i remember, Maths was the cause that I got my first private tutor. Rakhi miss. I was in standard 6. PCB was introduced and it all seemed greek to me (Sometimes, I feel quite near to Darsheel Safary in TZP :) So that was my first stint. Intially reluctant to be under someone's supervision, I found my teacher very cooperative and friendly. And she exuded solace. The thing I like about females. Soon I began to get interested and performed decently in exams. All thanks to this tutor of mine. But the relation ceased after a year or so as she got married and I lost a tutor whom I fancied close as a sister-in-the-making.
Mithu didi is still incomparable. The love, care, affection and the occasional scoldings that she used to display moulded me into a more matured pupil of economics. I began to love the subject and solved numericals in a snap of a finger. I used to love her handwriting. Wonderful-a reflection of her personality. She used to be very close to our family. Mithu didi gorged on the dishes prepared by Mum when she used to come and teach me. When i used to go to her place, her family offered me love. I enjoyed it a lot. Well, my reluctance was perennial but even then, now when I look back I seem to miss those days. I also seem to think that I should have changed or modified myself in such a manner which would have got me interested in subjects which i disliked. My problem was that I spent hours after hours (not literally...for me 10 minutes equalled to an hour sometimes) reading the subject of my choice, which was mainly restricted to english and hindi literature and business studies and economics, and never used to turn an eye towards the subjects I disliked (like maths, PCB, geography)Now when I look back and that I am in such a stage where bookish education is no longer a part of my life, i fancy myself to believe that I have developed a zest in me that would help me cope with maths much better, understand PCB and develop a liking for geography (geo seems so interesting to me now. Godammit! what kind of a person I was!) Coming back to Mithu didi she too got married after 4 to 5 years and is now in the States and has been blessed with a baby boy. God bless her! The years i spent under her guidance tempered me into a better learned individual. I miss her.
Then comes Suvankar da. There are few people in my life whom I have lost due to no fault of circumstances. Santanu (my old school buddy) and Suvankar da are the ones i can remember now. Exceptionally sensitive and very affectionate. Yes he was effeminate and I used to find him very wierd and also used to laugh behind his back and crack jokes at his 'infirmity'. But seldom did i realize consciously that I had found a great friend in him. Such was his heart, such his genuineness and such was his loneliness that I soon became fond of him but was never able to realize it consciously. Now that he has gone and I dont even know where he is, I feel a pang of meeting him and bringing him back to my very limited friend circle that i am left with now. People have come people have spread joy in my life and then they have left, leaving me spent and hollow. Suvankar da is one such person. i remember that he took me to a movie, a book fair and also treated me to hilsa in his house. He used to share his joys sorrow and loneliness to me. I could feel the pain in each of his words. He used to work a lot and said that he loves teaching. My grades improved and soon he left after a clash of tuition timings.
Anindita ma'am was my tutor She used to teach me hindi for 2 years. A passionate lover of hindi literature, she was very motherly towards me. She used to scold me, care about me be indifferent and bitch about others in front of me. And I liked it all. I was the best student in her class. and everytime i got an 80 in my exams she used to be very happy. Her two sons were very nice to me. chotu was my friend and subho da was an inspiration. That episode too came to an ed after my class 12 exams. I took up english and hindi went off my radar. Now I am not in touch with her.
Two other tutors very significant in my life were nishat jethu and bimal uncle. Great people. Bimal uncle has been a family friend. He used to teach me maths and ocassionally ohysics and chemistry. needless to say, I hated the subjects like anything. So naturally I avoided his classes. But he was so very learned and good in maths (he spent his entire life working for LIC) that my grades improved. I attempted 70 marks of maths in class 10 and got 60-my greatest achievement in maths till date. Afternoon classes were very tedious and i hated the classes even the more for that. Sleep-deprived and reluctant and disinterested, i loathed going to his classes but he was a great friend of ours and still is.
Nishat jethu was a cranky but funny old man. A freedom fighter in his youth, he had lovely tales to narrate to us. i still suspect him to be an undercover maoist or something. i hated going to his classes in the evenings. my friends used to play in the field and I used to give it a last sight and hop onto my bicycle.
Of course, no body was so special like Partho Mukherjee. What do i say about him. First time in my life, I died to attend his classes just to listen to him in rapt attention. Every word was a sermon for me-many of which i still consider as a guiding light in my life. The lesser said about him, the purer the essence would be.
Barring the gayatris, poornas and the sandips, I had been quite lucky to experience the rest of my private tutors. Experiences which still makes me miss them.
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