Suddenly...

I have known long enough that life is arbitrary. A moment before I entered the newsroom yesterday at 5 in the morning, little did I realize what was the piece of news that would greet me in the giant 72 inches plasma screen installed a few days back. A train disaster had taken place near Jhargram, possibly triggered by the maoists rampant in the area. A most unfortunate event, where more than 70 were dead. But as I stared blankly at the screen, my mind pondered upon the most literal question- how many more such?- and also something more profound- about the reason behind it all. why would a person sitting or sleeping comfortably on his berth, maybe expecting a business meeting or a family reunion when he reaches Mumbai, be all of a sudden, greeted by an accident, which will take away his life, which will shatter his dreams, which will leave a void in his family, which will bring in a crisis wherein everybody will shake their heads and sympathize and say that whatever happened was too bad...The chill went down my spine. I mean you, the reader, have dreams. I have dreams. We all have dreams. It can be a short term one-like doing a task in a few days time or a long term one-like buying a house or settling my debts or just simply, be happy. So why are these dreams snatched away, all of a sudden? I have always loved to think that i would want to die in my sleep. And that there should be a premonition. It used to hammer me when I heard tales of physical sufferers who died gradually. But now, i guess, they are the lucky ones. Death is not a shock to them. Its a process. But what about the unaware fellow, on whom a rolling stone falls and cracks open his skull, or he meets with an accident, or he slips and fall down a cliff...all of these sudden instances... arbitrary. Why so? And I find no answer. Is life a dream? Are we all in a dream? Are we to 'wake up' and find that the 'real' life exists in death?
I would have accepted the theory but for the engagements, propositions, ideas, plans and love in this world, which are tucked away in a corner of the room filled with grief, misery and helplessness.
Maybe the answer is waiting for us. We shall know it all. In sweet time.