Drugged

I am what you think. I am not what you think. Thus, I exist

Song 1: Sau Dard (Jaanemann)
Friends were good. Of course, they were. But maybe I wasnt.
Have you ever listened to the tempo before the song "aaja main hawaaon mein..." from 'Yuvraaj' starts? When what sounds like a host of violins break into an orchestrated melody echoing of a distant land, untroubled by the corruption of modern life. That's what I call pure. Ya, Rahman is magic.
I miss a few people in my life. very much, sometimes. Some of them were my friends. Now I dont know what to call them. Its strange. Very strange. When I look back (Well I dont usually lest it spoils my present equilibrium, but still when I do) I dont find anyone in fault. Neither me, nor them. At the next moment, I take on the blame, sport an evil smirk, brush aside my past and switch off the song, which seduces my heart, the deep recesss of my mind, tantalizes me to a old forgotten kingdom and to my utter horror, creaks open the rusty but loyal lid and shows me the glimpse of the lurking worms, which I had thought to be dead long back. Its horrific for me and illogical. I know I am hated, loathed even but loved too.

Song 4: Dilli (Delhi heights)
I have always felt very close to this song.
"Dekhe yahaan kahin mausam badalte hue
Dekhe jazbein kai yahan patthar bante hue..."
Ya I get high on songs. Its like smoking hash or snorting cocaine. I have seen my friends with a lost look in their eyes staring through you. Have you ever felt the joy of being dead? Some songs transport you to a different time zone.The joy grips you and you are free with tears spraying out in confusion and ecstasy shouting out loud, getting transported to the 15th or 16th century Italy miles away from the uprising brewing in the hearts of people. It drugs you, captures you in a moment where you lose yourself in a sunflower field and in a clear moonlit night and I can give you another thousand examples. good ol'bollywood songs. Ya I love'em.

Song 6: O re paakhi( Khoya khoya chaand)
Nowadays, my friends fear that I wont stay in touch with them. Two days back when two of my friends told me to socialize more, to maintain friendship, contact and feared that I might not keep in touch with them, I was surprisingly jolted to such an extent that I could not control my tears. Flashes and scenes fluttered across my eyes, a scary roller coaster ride which I have taken in one gulp. Those sunny mornings, the dew on the grasses, the rolling thunder in the skies, the sodden crevasses of my treasure trove carefully archived in my mind.
I feel blessed to forget.

Songs and a good weather always dismantles me from my stance. As I notice an sms on my mobile, I am hurled back to reality. Fortunately. Usually I prefer not to be explicit in my blog. In fact, half the stiff mentioned above are bullshit and a figment of my imagination. I am not such a dukhi atma also! ha ha! Lolz ;)
(song **: Khwaja mere Khwaja)